I had another argument with my mom today for what feels like the 24,589th time.

Is it normal to not feel love for your family? I’m about to graduate in a few months, and during college, I freelanced and took on side gigs just so I could send money home. I didn’t do it because I wanted to—I did it because I had to. I had to step up, support my family financially, and take responsibility. And I’ve always been willing to do whatever it takes.

Meanwhile, my younger brother has consistently caused financial damage. Back in high school, he took loans without telling anyone and bought a phone with the money. Thinking his behavior was due to bad influences, we switched him to a different college—but he didn’t change. He even once tried to run away from the hostel.

After that, we took a loan to admit him into a reputed college in Hyderabad, hoping it would help. Instead, he started borrowing money in lakhs and mismanaging it. Eventually, he got himself out of that college, and we had to enroll him in a local college instead. Just the Hyderabad college fees alone were ₹4 lakhs. After returning home, people started calling my dad, saying, “Your son owes us ₹40,000.” And to top it off, the laptop my parents bought him—with my money—somehow went missing too.

Despite all this, he acts like he knows everything. He looks down on everyone, speaks arrogantly, and never takes responsibility. And my mom? No matter what he does, she continues to defend him. She has a massive soft spot for him even though he’s done so much harm.

My dad has taken loans. Nobody knows where most of that money went. Part of it was tied to some land matter, and now we’re in the process of selling the land to repay debts. (update:which didn't happened we took a loan from bank and in the process of repaying it, it's of 10L)

And then there's me. No matter what I do, my mom treats me like an outsider. She refers to me as “this girl” or “that girl.” Today, my grandma called. My mom has been avoiding her parents, so I picked up the call. My grandma was crying, telling me she had been hospitalized and wanted to see my mom, but she wasn’t answering her calls.

I told my mom, and her response was, “She’s lying.” When I asked her why she’d say something like that, she exploded. She accused me of caring more about outsiders than my own family. The argument lasted over an hour. Later, she told the entire story to my brother in a twisted way that made me look like the bad one.

She argues with me over every little thing. She constantly misunderstands me, twists my intentions, and somehow makes every situation about her. It’s like she sees herself as above everyone as if she can’t be questioned or corrected. Her ego is massive. It’s unbearable.

This is not new. My mom constantly gaslights me. When I got a job offer in Ahmedabad and said I wanted to go because I genuinely liked the place, she asked, “Who do you even have there?” in the way that I have a guy there. Just Yuck.

Every fight ends the same way ’m always the one who has to call first, swallowing my ego. She never takes that step. She’s perfectly fine not speaking to me ever again. She once even said to my dad, “Why does this girl need so much buildup?” That broke me.

I’ve been doing everything I can to build a better life for all of us. But they’ve never acknowledged anything I’ve done. Not once have they said, “We’re proud of you.” Meanwhile, my brother walks around like he’s the golden child.

you know she is ashamed of me, when I lost my job she is embarrased of me.

Honestly, I think both my parents failed us. They never taught us anything.

And my brother? I genuinely think he has a toxic mindset. He degrades women, speaks inappropriately, and is wrong about almost everything. And yet, he’s the one who gets all the love and protection.

So now I’m torn. Should I keep supporting them financially? Or should I separate and finally live my life the way I want?

I earn money sufficient to buy all the things I like but I never did because I keep their interests above my interest maybe I shouldn't do that because it's not good for me and leaves me nothing.